What Does the Bible Really Say About Divorce?

by Stephanie A. Mayberry

I’m about to discuss one of the biggest, most controversial LIES that the church teaches.

Divorce.

What does the Bible really say about divorce? I’m going to rightly divide the word because I have indeed studied to show myself approved.

You might be surprised at the answer because it’s probably not what you think.

So, buckle up and let’s dive in.

Churchianity teaches that divorce and remarriage are strictly forbidden by scripture.

These inherently religious people twist scripture, perverting it, and then they use it to condemn people to hell.

They fail to look at their own sin of condemnation and perversion of scripture (especially adding to scripture). That Pharisee spirit looks down on those they deem to be unworthy sinners, and they place themselves in the seat of judgment – a seat that only Yehovah is to occupy.

While Yehovah does hate divorce (Malachi 2:16), He says little about remarriage. Yet unstudied Phariseical heretics use the Bible to batter people, and one of the very common ways is over remarriage after divorce.

Now, I’m not going to go into the lack of logic and critical thought, and especially the lack of study that is behind this condemnation and unbiblical idea. But I will say that it makes absolutely no sense and goes against the nature of Yehovah.

This unbiblical idea is held mostly by people who don’t understand that Yehovah operates in a legal manner.

Breaching the Terms of the Contract

Marriage is a contract between Yehovah, the husband, and the wife. He provides the terms of that contract, that covenant, in His word. When one of the parties breaches that contract, breaks those terms, the contract is then null and void.

Infidelity and abuse are common ways that people breach the marriage contract, but there are others.

When those terms are violated and the contract is nullified, the other party is released from their obligation. This is a biblical concept.

1 Peter 3 lays out some important terms of the contract as well as the consequences for breaking them.

⁷ Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.

1 Peter 3:7

The abusive husband’s prayers are not heard by Yehovah. It doesn’t matter if the abuse is physical, mental, emotional, or anything else including neglect and inapppropriate gender roles, the consequence is the same.

Because he is not keeping the terms of the marriage contract, his prayers are not heard by Yehovah. The implications here are more profound than most realize. A husband whose prayers are not heard by Yehovah cannot cover his wife. He cannot fulfill the terms of the marriage contract even if he wanted to. This leaves her uncovered and unprotected.

The “Unbeliever”

1 Corinthians 7 also provides important instruction on the roles of the husband and wife.

¹² But to the rest I, not the Lord, say: If any brother has a wife who does not believe, and she is willing to live with him, let him not divorce her. ¹³ And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him. ¹⁴ For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy. ¹⁵ But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace. 

1 Corinthians 7:12-15

And to be clear, an “unbeliever” is not just someone who does not believe in Yehovah. It is someone who does not believe in the things of Yehovah and does not adhere to scripture.

If you look at these verses in the Greek, the word used for “willing” is suneudokeó. This word means “to approve together, to consent, to agree with, to be pleased with.” It also means “properly, to consent in a “hearty” (personal) way, in keeping with the close identification involved (note the syn); enthusiastically agree to cooperate with a partner to reach solutions, i.e. to achieve the things both have committed to do together.”

That does not in any way describe an abusive relationship.

A husband who is abusive to his wife or a wife who is abusive to her husband definitely does not meet this requirement.

That’s why both parties in a marriage need to know the terms of that contract for themselves and their spouse.

However, just waking up one day and deciding that you are tired of your spouse, bored, or you want to explore greener pastures makes you a Pharisee. And you are dangerously close to violating the terms of the marriage contract with Yehovah.

The Pharisees Broke the Marriage Contract AND the Ten Commandments

Let’s look at the “argument” now, the verses that get twisted the most.

The portion of scripture that is typically used to condemn those who have divorced and remarried is in Matthew 19:

1 Now it came to pass, when Yeshua had finished these sayings, that He departed from Galilee and came to the region of Judea beyond the Jordan. 2 And great multitudes followed Him, and He healed them there.
3 The Pharisees also came to Him, testing Him, and saying to Him, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?”
4 And He answered and said to them, “Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning ‘made them male and female,’ 5 and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? 6 So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore, what Yehovah has joined together, let not man separate.”
7 They said to Him, “Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?”
8 He said to them, “Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. 9 And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery.”

Matthew 19:1-10

Here’s where context becomes important.

See, you have to understand what was going on at the time and what exactly what Yeshua was talking about. It isn’t as cut and dry as many make it out to be.

In fact, their interpretation is dead wrong.

This is why it is important to STUDY to show yourself approved. You have to study the word, the culture of the time, and even what was going on during that time. Without effective study, you will twist scripture and compromise your understanding of it.

This is what that scripture really means – and what was going on at the time that prompted it.

It was a common Pharisee practice for a man to marry a woman, then decide that he liked another woman better.

So, he would divorce the first woman so they could marry the other one.

That’s what Yeshua was talking about.

It goes back to Matthew 5:

27 “You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ 28 But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

Matthew 5:27-28

And this leads us right back to Torah – the Ten Commandments.

It breaks the seventh commandment:

14 “You shall not commit adultery.

Exodus 20:14

THAT is how it becomes adultery – when they leave the wife, they are married to in order to be with the woman who caught their eye.

They had looked upon that woman with lust and committed adultery in their heart – then they acted on it.

Marriage Takes Work – And Lots of It

Marriage takes work, lots of work. You have to wake up every morning and make the conscious decision to love your spouse and remain committed to them.

Some days it’s easier to do that than others.

You can’t rely on emotions or how you feel because those things are not stable. They fluctuate for any number of reasons, most of which are out of your control.

Stick with what you know. If you have made the decision to love someone – and yes, it is a decision – don’t let your emotions run you. Don’t put your emotions in the middle of your marriage, put Yehovah there instead.

Let His word guide you. Let His spirit speak to you. The religious arguments that keep people either bound up in abusive marriages or alone because they left an abusive marriage are nothing but twisted scripture and a lack of biblical literacy.

He said that His people would perish for lack of knowledge. This is one such example. For those who crave companionship, who want a family, those Pharisaical heretics keep them bound in false doctrine, never to realize the love and communion of a healthy, biblical, Yehovah centered marriage.

Now, by any means, don’t violate your conscience. If you truly, confidently feel that divorce and/or remarriage are not for you, then abstain from it. However, you have NO RIGHT to impose YOUR personal convictions on anyone else.

And you certainly have no right to commit the sin of condemning someone to hell.

That is nothing but a religious spirit, a Pharisee spirit.

And you need to be delivered of it.

At the very least, you need to stop bashing people who have divorced and have divorced and remarried. That is between them and Yehovah.

It’s NONE of your business.

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